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Essays:

"Lexicon For Ladykillers"

by Ted Mark

from

Scamp

Vol. 3, No. 1, July 1959





When she says...                                                   She means...
  • Able-bodied...........................................................Marriageable
  • Bachelor................................................................Abomination
  • Cad.......................................................................Former lover
  • Doctor................................................................Mama's choice
  • Eve....................................................................First conqueror
  • Free Love..........................................................Expensive affair
  • Gentleman...............................................................Big spender
  • Hot Prospect.............................................................Single man
  • Idiot...........................................Former lover's current girlfriend
  • Job........................................................Gauge of marriageability
  • Kiss.......................................................Investment in the future
  • Love.................................................Justification for the present
  • Mama......................................................The absolute authority
  • No.................................................................................Maybe
  • Older Man.....................................................A possibility if rich
  • Platonic...............................................................Without hands
  • Queer..........................................................Confirmed bachelor
  • Rhinestone.......................................Other girl's engagement ring
  • Sex.............................................................................Marriage
  • Tense.......................................................................Oversexed
  • Unfit.....................................................................Married man
  • Vice................Sex, smoking, drinking, or anything else you enjoy
  • Wedding........................................................Ultimate objective
  • X-Ray Eyes..........................Any eyes that focus below her neck
  • Yes.............................................................................I give up
  • Zeal....................................................................Pursuit of man
  •  
     
     
     

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